Amelia Chan
Evans lodge
21 Evans
Road
Singapore 259366
11 September 2017
Ms. Lim Lay
Hoon
Lecturer
Singapore
Institute of Technology
10 Dover
Drive
Singapore
1388682
Strengths and Weaknesses in Communication
Dear
Ms. Lim,
My
name is Amelia. I am writing to you to have a better understanding of my
background and character. I believe it is in your vested interest to know your
students so as to provide the proper coaching to effectively maximise our
learning.
Graduating
from Temasek Polytechnic, I studied a Diploma in Integrated Facility
Management. I am grateful for the chance to further my studies in this industry
under SIT. In Facilities Management, I believe communication is key. Any
working facility is just like a body. As the saying goes, “It takes two hands
to clap”, just as it takes two or more departments to work together to upkeep
the services provided by a facility. Just the same way the mind sends signals
to the hands to perform a clap, the different departments need to effectively communicate
with each other and align their objectives to complete a task.
But
before talking about the big picture, we must focus on ourselves as an
individual first. Having worked for two years prior to my enrolment into SIT, I
have learnt very well where my strengths and weaknesses in communication lie,
as well as my goals for developing effective communication.
My
biggest strength in communication is that I am a very straight forward person.
Beating around the bush only wastes precious time that can be more effectively utilised,
and avoids confusing the person I am speaking to. For example, if I were to
suggest a way to improve a company’s current system, I would not sugar coat it
but rather give the suggestion bluntly and state the pros and cons of such an
idea. Getting straight to the point gets your message across quickly and easily.
A
point in communication that I feel I will need to work on is in being unable to
steel my nerves during a presenting and expressing myself confidently in front
of many. I would tend to stutter and more often than not forget what I had
practiced so much for. I am working on my confidence and believe that more
opportunity to practice will bring about better results.
My
goal is to gain enough confidence to speak to a full audience in a lecture room
without stuttering before I graduate from SIT. To achieve this, I will take
every opportunity presented to me to present in front of the class. I hope that
I will get your support and guidance to reach my goal.
Yours Sincerely,
 |
Amelia Chan
|
Hi Amelia
ReplyDeleteWinfred here, Great job!
However , I have noticed some mistakes in your letter.
1)The subject line, every first letter of a word ought to be capitalised.
2)Sentence Structure
All in all, beautifully written and fantastic job.
Thanks
Winfred
Fellow Student
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Amelia,
ReplyDeleteMindy here, i love your interesting introduction about the importance of communication in the industry. Clear formatting and great examples given! Good language tone too! Thank you! :)
Hi Amelia,
ReplyDeleteRachel here, I think your letter is well structured and neat. I agree on the nervousness during presentation, can totally relate to it. Let's work hard together towards our goal to overcome and do better during presentation. ^^
Hello Amelia,
ReplyDeleteArabella here. I really love the flow and the selection of words that you use in your letter which created a foundation for your formal tone of writing. Both strength and weakness were well elaborated. There are some minor errors such as "Yours Sincerely" and the capitalisation of your subject line. Overall, great job! Thank you!
Dear Amelia,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the very interesting read – the use of an apt analogy, coupled with your personal experience in the corporate world illuminate the necessity for everyone to master effective communication skills. The tone is friendly and your writing speaks to the readers – good job there!
While the piece makes for a stimulating read, there are areas you could work on to make your writing even more engaging.
Coherence (and Cohesion)
Coherence needs to be worked into your writing. You need to connect your ideas (and also sentences for that matter) such that your readers find it easy to follow your writing. Consider how you can do that in paragraphs two and three. (Check out the following link: https://www.uwb.edu/wacc/for-students/eslhandbook/coherence)
Correctness
Ensuring correctness demonstrates your credibility as a writer, and your cautiousness as a researcher. Grammar, punctuation, usage do matter as that is a basic requirement of academic and professional achievement.
Looking back at the blog post, are you able to spot the problematic sentences?
I am highlighting a few below:
• “I am writing to you to have a better understanding of my background …” >>> can you spot the problem here?
• “… to know your students so as to provide the proper coaching to effectively maximise our learning….” >>> what is the problem here?
• “Graduating from Temasek Polytechnic, I studied a Diploma in Integrated Facility Management.” >>> What about the problem here?
• “…I feel I will need to work on is in being unable to steel my nerves during a presenting…” >>> and here?
You may want to consider pairing up with one of your blogging buddies to proof-read each other’s blog posts before uploading. That would be a good way to iron out language problems before your sharing.
I look forward to reading more of your thought-provoking posts, Amelia.
Cheers,
Ms. Lim